Dieting and Dressage

I have decided after many months of being away from the discipline of dressage and competition riding that I want to go back.  I have discussed it with my cardiologist, and found out that by following so strict rules and guidelines I can manage it.

Sadly I am not a disciplined sort of person when it comes to myself. Like others I am very disciplined with others LOL but not myself. I have 1 million and one reasons why I should indulge myself, not the least of which is " My client yelled at me and I deserve it"..now faced with something I really want, and having to deny myself can I take the challenge and make it.

First of all I have to lose weight, not only for the dressage challenge but for my own continued existence and health, to keep my heart going and reduce my cholesterol.

Second I need to get physically fit, strength and endurance to manage a large horse, and the physical discipline of riding daily. I use to ride 3 horses or more every day, and when I started getting sick I barely rode 1. My doctor says that I can go back to it if I work at my physical well being.

The problem is my husband is a sabotager.  He doesnt to it intentionally but nevertheless it is what he does. That is the final hurdle to this challenge. Overcoming his passive agressive stuff and manage my plan. 

I know it seems silly to be so worked up about riding horses, but for me dressage training is regaining my inner discipline, to regain my self awareness and strength not only physical but mental strength and focus.

Thinking....thinking....thinking....